Code of Conduct

All members and guests at SPA events or in our digital spaces are expected to behave in ways that promote safety and happiness for our community.

Please help everyone maintain a loving community by following this code of conduct.

1. SPA is for adults only (that is, ages 18+). The focus is polyamory, but everyone is welcome to join us and attend our events as long as they are respectful and don’t talk over others with different experiences.
2. Don’t be an asshole. Examples include racism, sexism, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, ageism, upholding systemic oppression, etc.
3. On Discord, ask in one of the public channels for permission from the recipient before initiating private DMs or friend requests with other users (unless they’ve tagged themselves with DMs open).
   • Never send a DM or friend request to someone who has the no DMs role tagged.
   • You may always DM a team member regarding server/community business without asking first.
4. Do not kink shame. All consensual kinks welcome here. If you dislike something, best practice is to scroll past, but if it is severely upsetting you can request a content warning and/or spoilers when available as described below.
5. On Discord, if you are posting something others may find difficult to read/view, use compassion and consider using ||spoiler bars|| and a content warning.
   • Edit your posts to use spoilers if another member requests it.
   • Members may DM a team member to ask them to request spoilers on their behalf.
6. Things that are illegal, or where the other party cannot knowledgeably consent (REAL children or animals, severely intoxicated, sleeping, etc.), are prohibited. For fantasies of this nature that do not involve real living persons, use spoilers when available.
7. We will remove those who are unsafe to our community. If you have concerns about one of our users, please contact us immediately.
8. On Discord, do not use @everyone or @here unless you’ve been explicitly asked to by our team. We try to use that feature very sparingly to avoid annoyances.
9. Do not participate in “doxing”. Do not share personal information of others that would compromise their privacy. Do not reveal people’s real names, addresses, employers, etc. The only exception to this rule is when formally reporting an incident to SPA moderators in private.
10. Do not save or screenshot images of members without their explicit consent. When in doubt, just don’t do it. Memes are fair game, except in cases of custom images that include pictures of members or their screen names.
11. All forms of moderation evasion are prohibited, such as (but not limited to) using a different account to rejoin during a timeout, or asking another member to pass messages to the community. Users who are under penalty of moderation are always allowed to contact the moderation team using the Mail button at the bottom of this page.